Gratitude and thanksgiving are foundational sentiments of the Jewish People; we are named after Yehuda, which derives from the Hebrew word for “thank you” – תודה. We’re not just the people of the book; we could more accurately be described as the grateful people, the thankful people.
Among the many expressions of gratitude in our Tradition is the beautiful Seder night Dayenu song, which divides the Exodus into fifteen distinct stages, deeming that each would have been enough on its own – Dayenu!
If the Creator had just taken us out of Egypt and left our enemies alone – Dayenu!
If the Creator had split the Sea but not given us safe passage – Dayenu!
If the Creator had given us safe passage but not given us food and water for forty years – Dayenu!
If the Creator had sustained us but not given us the Torah – Dayenu!
And so on.
It’s a fun song, we love it, it’s great.
However, it harbors a fundamental flaw at its core; without the entire story taken together, the Jewish People’s redemption ultimately fails.
If the Creator had taken us out of Egypt without dealing with our enemies, they would have prevented our escape.
If the Creator had split the Sea and not given us safe passage, our enemies would have overtaken and killed us.
If the Creator had given us safe passage but hadn’t provided logistical support in the form of food and water for forty years, we would have perished from thirst and hunger.
And if the Creator had sustained us for all that time without giving us the Torah, then what exactly would have been the point of everything?
None of these scenarios would have truly been sufficient on their own; each was critically and independently necessary. That’s why they had to happen!
But if they would not have been enough, why say Dayenu?
Understanding this paradox is revealing; while it’s true that each step might not have been enough for comprehensive and total victory, that’s not the point of the song.
The song is about how each step of redemption is enough to earn our undying thanks and earn our song of Dayenu; we will recognize and be thankful for the good we have been graced with, even when it is not quite sufficient for our goals and purposes.
Too often, we zoom out to view the big picture, moving on to the next goal, the next project, and the next win. It’s easy to forget that the goal we just achieved was one we were desperate for not so long ago.
We have good news. We are happy for five seconds. And then we start thinking about all the next steps, and we have moved on. We get the promotion and plan the next career move. We close the deal and plan the next one. We pass this test and focus on the next one.
This song corrects that mistaken perspective. Leaving Egypt and focusing on the Promised Land would not have been enough; you would have missed the whole thing.
Each win is a building block to something else. No win is big enough; there is no ultimate victory. The chase never ends, and there is no finish line, so each win is sacred in itself – Dayenu.
The milestone is not the end goal but deserves a moment of celebration and thanks – Dayenu.
The Sfas Emes points out that we hide part of the Matzah for the later stages of the Seder – Tzafun means Hidden; redemption was not fully revealed at the Exodus, but was concealed and only unfolds in small steps over time. We sing the song and break down each step because it unpacks what redemption looked like once but also so that we can recognize it on an ongoing basis – Dayenu.
By appreciating the process rather than just the outcomes and focusing on each small victory, we build momentum and create an identity of recognition and positivity.
Each step is leading somewhere – הַמֵּכִין מִצְעֲדֵי גָבֶר.
Critically, celebrating a small win isn’t a premature celebration of a big win. The orientation to counting small wins grounds expectations in the present; you don’t count chickens before they hatch. Counting small wins focuses on what is being achieved now without the pressure of expectation of what might or might not happen in the future.
Don’t wait for a complete resolution to acknowledge the significance of each phase of the journey. Each step is a victory, and each accomplishment is a cause for celebration – Dayenu!
Count small wins; the big wins only happen one step at a time.